The Life Upgrade (a 4-page comic script)

radiosilence

This is the corrected version of a little script I wrote at scrypticstudios.com

The assignment was to write a 4 page story featuring zombies... but not in the horror genre. This is what came out. I wanted to share this with you.

I hope you enjoy it and have time to tell me what you think of it.

Thanks for reading.

“THE LIFE UPGRADE”

BY FRANCISCO CASCALLARES
JUNE 11th 2004

4 PAGES

PAGE 1:

5 PANELS: A LONG ONE ON THE TOP THIRD OF THE PAGE AND FOUR MORE USING UP THE REMAINING SPACE.

PANEL 1.
Two zombies, a male called MZLLBGHH and a female called AZZAFDLJGR, walk around a decayed version of the Garden of Eden. MZLLBGHH is plucking a worm from the ground. Everything in it is a “zombie” version of what we’ve heard about the Garden: organic but dead. Trees have no leaves, there are swamps instead of rivers. The opening image reminds us of the style of illuminated manuscripts of the sixth and seventh centry.

CAPTION: IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS ONLY DEATH.

MZLLBGHH: I'm telling you, this thing... LIFE... I didn't just make it up.
MZLLBGHH: A perfect world. No maggots. No smelling.
AZZAFDLJGR: Yeah, right.

PANEL 2:
MZLLBGHH shows the worm to AZZAFDLJGR.

MZLLBGHH: The boss is working really hard on this.
MZLLBGHH: I've seen a glimpse of it with my own eyes.

PANEL 3:
MZLLBGHH throws the worm into his mouth.

AZZAFDLJGR: You don't have eyes, Mzllbghh.

PANEL 4:
MZLLBGHH and AZZAFDLJGR continue walking. MZLLBGHH waves his arms as if explaining something.

MZLLBGHH: Whatever. Do you think it's, you know, like, the NEXT EVOLUTIONARY STEP??

PANEL 5:
AZZAFDLJGR and MZLLBGHH stop right where they are, following with their heads the direction of the Voice. GOD’s voice should have a special kind of balloon, like they did with The Sandman. Perhaps golden, and wavy or something (but parchment doesn’t sound like a good idea).

GOD: MZLLBGHH!!!!
GOD: AZZAFDLJGR!!!!
MZLLBGHH: Better not make the Boss wait.

PAGE 2:
7 PANELS: THREE ON TOP, TWO IN THE MIDDLE, TWO ON THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE.

PANEL 1:
The three following panels are basically one long varying landscape divided into three. In each of them we see both zombies running. The line that God says continues from one panel into the next.

GOD: YOU TWO GET...

PANEL 2:
See panel 1 description.

GOD: ...WHAT REMAINS OF YOUR ROTTEN ASSES...

PANEL 3:
See panel 1 description.

GOD: ...RIGHT HERE NOW!!!!

PANEL 4:
Medium shot of both zombies, who are shading their eyes. A blazing white glow comes from the left side of the panel, more or less from where the “camera” is placed. .
NOTE: Throughout this story, GOD will always be off-panel, and a glow coming from off-panel lets us imagine where would actually be.

MZLLBGHH: Uh... Boss... can you turn those down a bit?

PANEL 5:
Exact same angle, only now the light has changed to a soft amber tone, and the zombies are at ease now.

MZLLBGHH: Great. Thanks. You need us?

PANEL 6:
AZZAFDLJGR is coy, blushed. MZLLBGHH, behind her, does the downwards elbow blow you normally do when your favorite team scores a goal.

GOD: OF ALL THE WORLD THAT I HAVE CREATED, YOU ARE MY TWO FAVORITE CREATURES.
AZZAFDLJGR: Wow, thanks Boss.
MZLLBGHH (whispering) Go, go, go.

PANEL 7:
MZLLBGHH covers his mouth to whisper into AZZAFDLJGR’s ear as they both look at God.

GOD: BUT NOW I'M UP TO SOMETHING TOTALLY NEW. IT'S GOING TO BE BIG.
MZLLBGHH (whispering): I told you.

PAGE 3:
SIX PANELS, STANDARD LAYOUT.

PANEL 1:

GOD: WORLD V.2.0.
GOD: NEW FEATURES, NEW INTERFACE AND BRAND-NEW CODE IN DNA LANGUAGE.
MZLLBGHH: Hip.
AZZAFDLJGR: Groovy.

PANEL 2:
AZZAFDLJGR steps forward, a little lacking in confidence.

AZZAFDLJGR: And... if you don't mind my asking...
GOD: NOT AT ALL, AZZAFDLJGR.

PANEL 3:
Close shot of AZZAFDLJGR’s imploring face.

AZZAFDLJGR: ...what about us? What happens?

PANEL 4:
MZLLBGHH, with his palms up, is stating a simple fact. AZZAFDLJGR is giving her annoyed answer to MZLLBGHH.

GOD: WELL, DEAR CREATURES, THAT'S WHAT I NEEDED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
MZLLBGHH: I'm all ears, Boss.
GOD: YOU DON'T HAVE EARS.
AZZAFDLJGR (simult.): You don't have ears.

PANEL 5:
A tunnel, unusually long and with a light at its end, appears behind them out of thin air. AZZAFDLJGR, irritated, elbows MZLLBGHH. MZLLBGHH is looking at the skin of his own arm.

GOD: IT'S THE LATEST ADDITION TO WORLD V.2.0. IT'S CALLED LIFE.
GOD: IT'S THE UNKNOWN THAT WAITS AT THE END OF DEATH. GOD: IT’S EDGY.
MZLLBGHH: Wow, look: goosebumps.

PANEL 6:
Both zombies hg each other while they look up at God, really scared.

GOD: AND I NEED TWO BETATESTERS.

PAGE 4: SIX PANELS, STANDARD LAYOUT.

PANEL 1:
Both zombies roll their eyes up, defeated.

GOD: I, WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING, FORESEE YOU TWO VOLUNTEERING ONE DAY.
GOD: LET'S SPEED UP THINGS A BIT, OK? DON’T ARGUE.

PANEL 2:
Each zombie receives a palm leave from off-panel, which they inspect as something they’ve never seen.

GOD: GO ON. PUT THESE ON.
MZLLBGHH: What... what's this?
GOD: SAFETY GEAR.

PANEL 3:
With the palm leaves on as Adam and Eve wore them, still unconvinced about the whole business, both zombies are peeking into the deep dark tunnel and not entering.

MZLLBGHH: Boss...
GOD: GO. GO, MY CHILDREN. ONE DAY, IF YOU EVER COME BACK AGAIN, YOU'LL TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT.
AZZAFDLJGR: That’s reassuring.
GOD: ENJOY THE RIDE.

PANEL 4:
Entering the tunnel, looking back. AZZAFDLJGR waves her arm.

AZZAFDLJGR: Later...
GOD: HAVE A NICE TRIP.
MZLLBGHH: I should have stayed in bed today...

PANEL 5:
We just see the tunnel. The glow from God is diminishing. The zombies are just tiny silohuettes now as they walk away.

MZLLBGHH: Azzafdljgr?
AZZAFDLJGR: Yes, Mzllbghh?

MZLLBGHH: Nobody knows us on the other side, right?
AZZAFDLJGR: Nope, I don’t think so.

PANEL 6.
Same image, only the glow is gone and the figures are still smaller.

MZLLBGHH: Once we’re there, the first thing I’ll do will be something about my name.
MZLLBGHH: I always wanted to be Nada. Or Dana. AZZAFDLJGR: That's a girl's name, you moron. MZLLBGHH: You could use a better name too, you know. Something sexy. I’m feeling creative. MZLLBGHH: What about... Eeeev?
AZZAFDLJGR: Oh. Just shut up.

THE END.

Greek

Now this sounds interesting. I would like to see images done for this story. If you cannot do them, I am sure that some artist here would be willing to attempt it. Just ask.
_________________
I am a romantic, a seeker of beauty.
Even from souls corners most despairing,
Beauty none the less.
-Sunheart-

radiosilence

Greek: thanks for your comments! I'm really glad you liked this story.

You hit right on the mark: I can't draw anything except sticky men (that's actually how I did all my comics as a child). So I'm always looking for an artist to work with. I just don't know anyone around here (lol, check my posts count).

I never thought of taking this story further than a script but what you say makes me want to try, assemble a small team, and get this 4-page comic done. Any artist reading this post, looking for a small project to do? Are you interested? PM me, MSN me, ICQ me, e-mail me.

I'll be posting more 4-page scripts (almost) every week, since the writing assignments at scryptic studios are weekly and always 4-pages long. Heh, we could eventually make a book!

Greek

PM one of the moderators and ask which forum to place a request in. I am sure that there is some artist who might be willing to take on such a project. Otherwise you could probably put it in the General Discussions Forum.
_________________
I am a romantic, a seeker of beauty.
Even from souls corners most despairing,
Beauty none the less.
-Sunheart-

radiosilence

Sounds like a good idea. Thanks for the tip, I'll do that right away.