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battle
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Joined: Feb 21, 2004
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 Posted: Fri Jun 10, 2005 11:49 pm Post subject: If Superman Were Real I'd Be Quite Afraid |
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I'd be quite scared if Superman were real. For example let's say he has to pee really bad one day on a 12 story building. His stream of urine could explode a toilet , go through many floors and pop a hole through someone's head like a laser beam.
His ejaculation could even blow a woman's head off but since he's a superhero he'd most likely feel guilty and place the dismembered head back on the body. Then walk away quietly while checking to see if anyone witnessed it.
The life of a superhero can't be easy. You'd have to spend almost all of your time just trying hard not to hurt people with any of your bodily functions. If he suddenly decided to expell gas it could even start a mini Earth quake resulting in many deaths which of course he'd have to try and save but it would keep him pretty busy never the less. |
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Hasdrubal
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Joined: May 31, 2002
Posts: 637
Location: Planet Mongo
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| Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2005 1:09 am Post subject: Re: If Superman Were Real I'd Be Quite Afraid |
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Everything's going to be OK, the men in the white jackets won't hurt you.  |
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OrcaDesignStudios
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Joined: Jun 10, 2002
Posts: 769
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2005 8:18 am Post subject: Re: If Superman Were Real I'd Be Quite Afraid |
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| battle wrote: | | If he suddenly decided to expell gas... |
That's how he flies.
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battle
Forum Newbie
Joined: Feb 21, 2004
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2005 7:31 pm Post subject: Re: If Superman Were Real I'd Be Quite Afraid |
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Hasdrubal white jackets? I wear brown leather with lots of glitter and pretty flowers.
No of course not but a peeing Superman could hurt, don't you think?... |
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Ironbear
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Joined: Nov 06, 2001
Posts: 1038
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| Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 3:34 am Post subject: |
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*snicker* Not sure this comment from Superheros and Wrestling rated a thread of its own - but hey... whatver floats yer boat. ;]
It's ok Battle. It's only a comic book - the mean old Superpee can't get you.
Does make you kind a wonder though: if he has a cold, what does he use for kleenex? One sneeze and Supersnot could spit right straight through even a kevlar hanky and take out people on the other side of the planet! 
Man... that'd be a horrid way to go! 
*wanders quietly off after giving Battle new nightmares  *
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Aremis
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Joined: May 31, 2002
Posts: 846
Location: Ottawa Ontario Canada
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| Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 8:47 am Post subject: |
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OK, Battle...What did I tell's ya? get back in yer cell and stop giving your medication to the cockaroachies, understood? Dont make me take away your lego priviledges!
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Ratteler
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Joined: Jun 10, 2002
Posts: 548
Location: NYC
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| Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2005 11:10 pm Post subject: Re: If Superman Were Real I'd Be Quite Afraid |
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| Quote: | | His ejaculation could even blow a woman's head off |
Why does everyone assume super sperm would come out any faster than normal.
No matter how much force is applied he's still configured human. He eats normal food and is assumed to be carbon based lifeform like the rest of us. There would be no biological reason his super-goo should shoot out any differently than ours.
HOWEVER!!!
Given the fact that his cellular make up offers enhanced ability by soaking up solar radiation, and that even the most opaque human is really just 98% transparant water... one COULD suggest that his super chode would NEVER DIE!
One ride on his "speeding bullet" might impregnate a woman for life as each unsuspecting ovulation set yet another egg into a vertible gang bang of super chode. Poor Lois and Lana would be sqeezing out super brats every nine months until their uterus fell out like the car muffeler of a low rider going over a curb. |
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Sharby
Site Admin
Joined: May 30, 2002
Posts: 487
Location: Ohio - USA
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| Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 11:01 am Post subject: Re: If Superman Were Real I'd Be Quite Afraid |
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| Ratteler wrote: | | sqeezing out super brats every nine months until their uterus fell out like the car muffeler of a low rider going over a curb. |
 now that's funny! |
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Aremis
Moderator
Joined: May 31, 2002
Posts: 846
Location: Ottawa Ontario Canada
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| Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 11:05 am Post subject: Re: If Superman Were Real I'd Be Quite Afraid |
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| Sharby wrote: | | Ratteler wrote: | | sqeezing out super brats every nine months until their uterus fell out like the car muffeler of a low rider going over a curb. |
now that's funny! |
Funny...too funny...Very very VERY disturbing that you put so much thought into it...But funny!
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Ratteler
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Joined: Jun 10, 2002
Posts: 548
Location: NYC
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| Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2005 11:33 am Post subject: Re: If Superman Were Real I'd Be Quite Afraid |
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| Quote: | | Very very VERY disturbing that you put so much thought into it... |
It's always nice to know your "work" is appretiated. |
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x2000
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Joined: May 31, 2002
Posts: 103
Location: Orbiting in a cloaked vessel
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itisitex
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Joined: Sep 01, 2002
Posts: 177
Location: Tx
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| Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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Wow i can't believe i read all these post
whats worse is i have a comment to add.
The force that man juice is expelled can very from each enconter. (i.e. dribble out or blast like a rocket and land several feet away.) with that said he could blow some poor ladies head off.
That being said the motion of the ocean can be fast and hard and him being superman could kill a few ladies befor he even get a chance to blow there heads off.
I am ready for my meds Aremis |
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Casette
Forum Newbie
Joined: Jul 13, 2005
Posts: 4
Location: Arkham Asylum (but they wonīt retain me too much time here...)
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 6:33 am Post subject: |
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Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex 
I love this article, I readed some years ago in the spanish edition of Penthouse Comics. Superman, poor fellow 
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POSER isnīt a software ... itīs a RELIGION
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Mizrael
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Joined: Jan 18, 2004
Posts: 258
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| Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 4:55 pm Post subject: Re: If Superman Were Real I'd Be Quite Afraid |
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| Hey Casette! How's the Hamster? Nice ta see you here! |
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Casette
Forum Newbie
Joined: Jul 13, 2005
Posts: 4
Location: Arkham Asylum (but they wonīt retain me too much time here...)
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| Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 12:19 am Post subject: |
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Hey, Miz!!! Wassup?
The hamster? Drawing for me, of course
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Casette
POSER isnīt a software ... itīs a RELIGION
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