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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 1:14 pm Post subject: Hostility.
What is it about the Internet? This forum doesn't seem to have much of a problem, but on others I've been to, it seems you can hardly post the most innocuous remark - this is when I'm not trying to be provocative - without someone leaping on two words, distorting them and abusing you over it.
It's easy to dismiss it, but does it reveal something about human nature - that a lot of us are assholes from a safe distance (what Roger Waters calls the bravery of being out of range) - or is it just that a lot of forum users are socially underequipped in the first place?
I know this sounds like a moan, but it's a serious, if perhaps minor, sociological enquiry.
IMP. _________________ RIVER: skin on the outside. First chapter FREE from www.ianmpalmer.com
I know exactly what you mean. I have made what seem like perfectly innocent posts on some forums out there and the replies I received made me half expect to be attacked by the UN.
Sometimes I think this can be put down to the way in which the context of remarks made on the net can't always be easily understood. Sometimes it turns out to be a culture difference, especially where you're talking to an international audience.
Then again, sometimes you just don't understand how on earth your comments could have been misconstrued and you have to wonder at the mentality of the people flaming you.
But you're right, this forum is always pretty well balanced and there's not a great deal of conflict here. I'm not just saying this because I'm posting here, either, it's something I've mentioned offline and via private emails too.
Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 8:36 pm Post subject: Re: Hostility.
I am not sure what it is. I have had a comment of mine here misconstrued and all there but for the most part it is pretty calm most times. I have had comments misinterpreted in other places though and it is kind of weird. I know I sometimes skip words but I think I write fairly clearly. I think sometimes the faceless nature of the Internet leads to a false bravado and dismissal of the people at the other end of the posts. It is sort of a weird phenomenon that comes with the territory.
Joined: May 31, 2002 Posts: 638 Location: Planet Mongo
Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 1:10 am Post subject: Re: Hostility.
I have two theories on the matter.
First Theory:
Ian, you should take conflict as a perverse type of esteem. Truly hostile/ignorant people will tend to completely ignore any idea they dislike as a first reaction.
Now for the other theory:
Talking zoo monkeys are actually responsible, and have singled you out for abuse. You must make them believe you are Charlton Heston. They can only be humilated and defeated with an enormous set of pectoral implants.....alternately, you might have to part the Red Sea.
Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 8:19 am Post subject: Re: Hostility.
Palmers! how dare you call me an asshat, you assbonnet !?
Sorry misconstrued a remark there.
I think maybe its easy to flame someone because of the dehumanising aspect of electronic communication - when you don't see the person's face or hear their voice, its easy to forget that the person on the other end is (hopefully) another living breathing human being with feelings.
Also maybe that's how some misunderstandings arise: to be honest in e-mails I can't always tell when someone is being serious or not if I don't know them very well and can't hear their tone of voice or see their expression, I suppose that is what emoticons are for, vile little things.
Another explanation could be that most forums are frequented by testosterone crazed juveniles of all ages.
I agree this forum is very restrained - I notice that when I have one of my little rants its only Hasdrubal who is ever willing to stick his head over the parapet.
It may be the pseudo-anonimity that being online gives?
In just about every other forum I'm in I have the same knickname, it's just my password here got frelled so no-one can use it. 8 \
heh, not even me.
I think it has to do with the mask thing, when you're hidden you would tend to do things that normally would repulse you.
*shrug*
4 cents worth of 1 Lb of education.
Cheers _________________ For all the years I"ve watched them grow, I cant get over their spunk Prof. Kildare Ex-Mutants
It depends on the person. I am just as rude and confrontational in the flesh as I am here - possibly more as I get to deploy a full range of body language. Actually I'm probably politer online because I have time to let my temper (and oestrogen levels, thank you palmers) die down before responding.
I think, generally speaking however you are right about the mask thing, and it works both ways, it is easier to be offensive to (and also demonise )
someone if you are not seeing them as fully human.
Well that's my two penn'orth for this morning. _________________ A broken stereotype is a beautiful thing
I think there's a bit of all the theories proposed above involved, but I think there's one more aspect to it. There are a lot of angry, insecure people out there who are ready to take anything said to them or even in their vicinity as an insult to themselves. And then the annonymity of the internet gives them the confidence to speak out about it.
Without the body language and tone of voice you have in direct contact, the reader is free to put their own interpretation onto everything you write. It is scary to think what that means about all those people out there.
I hadn't made the connection when I started the thread, but I was telling someone at work today about the place I used to work, a department store in an affluent middle-class community, where I had to tell staff all the time that the reason customers came in and abused them was that they knew they could: that they could take out whatever pressures and frustrations they felt in their own lives on someone who, given the nature of the shop, it was guaranteed would not be permitted to retaliate in any way at all.
I also used to tell them that whatever verbal exchange there might have been, the winner was the person holding the money at the end of the transaction.
IMP. _________________ RIVER: skin on the outside. First chapter FREE from www.ianmpalmer.com
Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 7:15 pm Post subject: Re: Hostility.
Yes, I have experienced it myself, many times, I hardly ever post anywhere because it happned so many times I started thinking I actually had a comunication problem. It wouldn't be impossible, since Inglish isn't my primary language, and I even tend to find people who doesn't ever understand me in person.
Recently I was talking about the matter with a group of friends and everybdy had experienced similar problems, I was at the same time glad and sad, because it wasn't only me and because I truly beleive that there's nowqhere safe _________________ "Nobody moves! I dropped my brain!"
Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 10:19 pm Post subject: Re: Hostility.
When people are on the internet, you're automatically given the "Anonymous" title, regardless of screen-name or what you type on your profile, or whatever...Because its so easy to lie on the Internet. So, people become really hostile/rude/mean/-insertnegativeadjectives- because they can't get caught.
Sort of like an invincible shield...thing. I've encountered alot of people who are just asses because they can be without suffering any repercussions.
That being said, I'm not really sure I'm even qualified to talk about this, seeing as this forum is mostly adults and I'm still..a youngie.
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